Monday, August 8, 2011

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

My life has been FULL of them! Even now. It's disappointing. Although I guess a positive is that I recognize that. lol.

I caught myself waiting until the last minute to finish my final paper for a class. I am wiping off sweat right now I was getting nervous it would not be done in time. Now, logical thinking would state it is because I waited until the night it's due to sit down and write it is the reason why I am sweating. However, my excuse driven mind is saying: it's because the school server was running slow and having technical difficulties. I wasnt able to get to the proper portions to get the information I needed.

Yeah.. I know. Thats pathetic. Truthfully I recognize that I procrastinated, and the end result is not my best. Which then leads my mind down another path. Im a slight perfectionist. So the fact that my FINAL paper is not the best I could have written is riding my mind. But, it is too late now. Learn from my mistake and move on. This next class I know unless I want to create an ulcer and wet another sweat rag, I am not going to wait until the night of or even the day of. Phew.

As I sit here, first desiring to write today's post about my miseries of the final paper procrastination and list the reasons why it was crap and turned in last minute... I realize that this is not the first time I have made excuses why i have not done my best.

I mean. Just take one look at me and you know I have not done my best. I have been making excuses and placing blame on other people/things for 23 years...

This is one reason why I need the Biggest Loser. The butt kicking I would get on the show would jump start my healthy living and (because of my perfectionism) be able to do my best for my own health.

I have been blamed for many things, and hate that feeling. why do I place the blame on others? I try to live by the "Golden Rule" ... yet I am doing this. NO LONGER.

I am OWNING myself. My actions are mine, not someone elses.

So I ask myself and the other readers of this blog: What excuses are you making?

Note: Another plus of going through the BL process.... Ownership of self.

(sorry this post is a bit all over the place, I'm beat but want to get this all down before I forget it.)

1 comment:

  1. I totally get what you're saying. I felt like this all throughout my undergrad! I used to always have all of these great ideas, but couldn't find the "perfect" way to begin, so I would procrastinate. The all or nothing mentality landed me and still lands me some pretty sweaty moments! I am too afraid to audition for BL13 but I am doing this! I sit here at 6'3" and 415lbs, and because I've always been able to 'just get by' or be successful despite my weight, I've never succeeded at doing anything about it until now. Although I feel successes, deep down I know I am missing out on a lot because of weight! Sorry I wrote a book on your blog! Look forward to 'getting to know' you! You can do this! You are soooo worth it!
    @MissAshleyylala on Twitter