tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2330650310120574692024-03-05T02:12:28.467-08:00No Limits DreamingMy journey of getting to a healthier me. The journey to "No Limits Dreaming" where I am healthy and can do "anything"aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-73897402087826802352013-04-07T12:44:00.001-07:002013-04-07T12:44:44.641-07:00Mental Illness and suchThis post is one that hits a nerve with me. Yesterday I read that Paster Rick Warren's son committed suicide after his lifetime suffering from depression. In a news release, Pastor Warren mentioned something his son said 10 years ago (something that I remember praying to God about) but his son (mind you this is paraphrased a little) had said that sometimes he wonders why God cant bring him to heaven now and end this pain and suffering. <br />
Reading that brought tears to my eyes and my heart weeps for the Warren family and EVERY family and individual that is suffering from depression and any other mental illness!!!!!!<br />
I know from my own personal story of dealing with depression since junior high, and only since 2007 sought help for it, that it is hard living life. For me it was especially hard being a Christian as well. That brought in a whole other realm of questions and thoughts and fears. <br />
But anywhoo... saving my sob story for a later date.<br />
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I hope that someday I can help a person or persons out of that darkness... or at least enough to get them away from the thoughts of ending their own life. <br />
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I will admit that to this day I still wonder sometimes why God hasnt or didnt take me years ago, and it can be hard to see the light in the darkness. But His strength and loving arms are what have picked me up out of bed and kept me going. I know that there is a reason Im still here, and though today (or tomorrow or whenever) may be a rough one and doesnt seem worth it, there is a reason Im going through the pain. <br />
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If someone out there reads this and is suffering, please know that you are worthy to live!! and seek help. It is okay to reach out. <br />
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If someone out there reads this and knows someone suffering, be sure to let them know you care for them. aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-60988568071213164662013-01-14T15:11:00.002-08:002013-01-14T15:11:18.947-08:00Shrinking Jeans Progress<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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SCORE!!!!</div>
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So I was getting dressed to go run errands this morning and I decided to try on a pair of pants that I haven't been able to wear since 2007. And guess what??!!! THEY FIT! Woot Woot!! I am even able to bend, sit, and not have to cover my shirt because of the muffin top. They fit nicely. They are a little snug, but hey... Ill take it as they are! Now I have another pair of jeans and not have to buy any.. lol.. </div>
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But yeah.. this makes me happy. Perfect little kick to keep me going on this journey and get out of this rut. </div>
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Phew... down to the ground now. I need extra help this week to get my butt into gear again and get back to the gym or if weather permits run the C25K with my doggy around the local park. He's getting stir crazy too from this whack out weather. That would also help me out, getting a change of scenery and what-not. <br />
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So how is everyone doing? <br />
If I can be help in any way let me know... I struggle on my own journey, but enjoy helping others and encouraging them. <br />
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<br />aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-77004129490274742222013-01-13T11:27:00.004-08:002013-01-13T11:27:50.990-08:00Sunday FundayYup.. two weeks down.. woot woot. <br />
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This week has been hard due to weather and just personal low motivation. However I have stuck to the plans. On the rainy days I have done cardio and body weight exercise in my home along with yoga. <br />
Man.. That Fab Abs is kicking my abs... lol. Those planks are hitting me hard. But it feels great!! <br />
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Had a great message at church today. Only excites me for what more is to come for 2013. Also, I am attending some Life Groups and todays group has me excited and scared all in one. lol. A good scared though. <br />
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I have been fighting the urge to step on the scale all week. I am attempting to just weigh on check in days.. I call it "Weigh-In Wednesday."<br />
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So yeah.. resting to prep for another week of body work. <br />
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Hope everyone is doing okay..aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-16907809439534471032013-01-09T10:01:00.002-08:002013-01-09T10:01:37.750-08:00Challenge Week 1 Weigh-in & ConfessionalSo.. even though I jumped the gun a couple posts ago, today is the "official" weigh-in for <a href="http://shrinkingjeans.net/" target="_blank">the challenge</a>. And the weight is still the same (sadface) at 248. <br />
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It's been three days since that weigh-in. With no pounds gone. I know why, which is partially why its so hard to stomach. But I admit that I did not sweat as much as I should have and did not stick to my workout routine over the weekend. I did do everything last night (yoga and fab abs). <br />
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Today is supposed to be a gym day, but the weather is whack! The sky must be really sad because it is raining cats and dogs and a few moans here and there. I do not like driving when its raining this hard. Especially in a rental car that has issues and the roads flood. So... since Ill be "stuck" inside I'ma do an at home workout. Doing a cardio workout plus leg workout, and a little yoga.<br />
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I do love the yoga. I created a dream board for this year (Will post a pic once I finish outlining). And the dream is to go to <a href="http://wanderlustfestival.com/" target="_blank">Wanderlust Festival</a> next year. But in the today, I like yoga because it gives me something to envision. There are certain poses that I either cannot do fully because of the extra body I have. So I envision someday being able to do the pose fully and not be constrained. <br />
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Yup. <br />
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On the life part, I finally have a job! I just need to get CPR certified before I can begin. But yep... Im excited. Now I can go to gym before or after work or both. <br />
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K. Hope everyone is doing well in their journey and sticking through on their goals. It's week 2 of the new year stick with it! <br />
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<br />aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-63883810943770476442013-01-06T15:29:00.000-08:002013-01-06T15:29:54.050-08:00Let the people RestThank goodness today is a rest day!! <br />
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I think I have an infection that switches between sinus and ear. Once I get rid of one, the other comes. And this morning I was wonked!! lol. Im still going to try to do some yoga, and I definitely am staying on the right track food wise.. but its one of those days where I just want stay in bed...<br />
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But yeah.. Im hoping this rest day will recoup my system in preparation for the new week. I dont want to back track which happens a lot when I lose weight. Staying motivated! <br />
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OHHH!!!! I have decided (and recruited a friend of mine) to do a 5k at the end of March. It's one of the Color Runs... which has me oober excited. Anyone in the Houston, TX area available March 24th... and wants to do with.. contact me! We can try to create a team and the price is a teeny bit less. lol.. But yeah... Im excited because the pictures show peoples of all sizes doing it.. so yeah.. Ill be adding a 5k program to my weekly workout. Ill be working on a walking time and half/half time. <br />
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Woot Woot!!! Im excited. <br />
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K.. now off to thinking of my outfit for the Run...aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-42249446606409664932013-01-05T12:33:00.001-08:002013-01-05T12:33:25.592-08:00Weekend 1 Weigh InWell... It's that time. The time of the dreaded step on the scale and twinge in the gut when the numbers pop up... <br />
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Despite the rearrange of workouts and a couple mishaps in diet (I had a weakness for brownies earlier in the week)... <br />
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I still am 2 pounds down! Woot Woot. That leaves 13 pounds for my challenge goal (8 pounds for month goal). SCORE!! I never thought I would see the 240's again. Or at least in my 20's. Only more fire lit under my feet to keep me going so I can late say the lower weights. I feel a bit proud of this loss (despite how small it is) because a relative of mine made the comment that while living here in the south it's a hard to lose weight and probably wont happen. So the fact that I made it happen I feel a bit more accomplishment. <br />
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Allergies are still kicking my butt... but am making sure to still get up move at least. Normally I would want to stay in bed and watch movies and such...but since it's just sinus junk, I am making myself move. <br />
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I am excited also because today I FINALLY got myself a yoga mat, pilates ball, and yoga routine dvd. I have wanted these items for a year now... I figure I can be okay with it as putting it towards rewarding myself for going from 272 to 248 (24 pounds gone). <br />
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I must admit also, that last night I almost did not do the Fab Abs workout. (Find it here: <a href="http://shrinkingjeans.net/2012/12/fab-abs-january-monthly-workout-calendar/">http://shrinkingjeans.net/2012/12/fab-abs-january-monthly-workout-calendar/ </a>) But, I did it! I fought the inner voice in me trying to talk me out of it.. and did it. I told myself that my day off is Sunday. And man... the planks are kicking my behind! lol. But I can see me at the end of the month blowing the 25 seconds out the water! I partially dreading, but am excited for the 2min 30sec! lol. <br />
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Yup. <br />
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I like the FitnessPals "If you do like this everyday for (so many) weeks then you will weigh (such amount)" ... lol.. It makes me excited to think I CAN weigh that much within the year. <br />
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Hope everyone stays focused over the weekend! Dont give up!! <br />
<br />aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-16657002543461893582013-01-04T14:56:00.001-08:002013-01-04T14:56:18.995-08:00Goal Time, Set, GoIt's that time now. My goals. <br />
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The first goal(s) will be for the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans Challenge.<br />
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Challenge Goals:<br />
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**WEIGHT LOSS Goal: Lose 15 Pounds<br />
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*Wear my BodyBugg daily<br />
*Log in at least 30 hours at the gym a month<br />
*Complete the Fab-Abs January program<br />
*Stretch hip flexors at least 3x week<br />
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Health:<br />
*Drink two less caffeinated drink a week & change one drink to a caffeine free drink<br />
*Eat at least one fruit a day (Oranges during winter!! lol)<br />
* Log food/exercise in my FitnessPal app (add me as a friend .. search ehvball00)<br />
*Pray daily!<br />
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There is my finalized set of goals! <br />
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I want to give a thank you to the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans! It has helped push me the past 4 days to stay on track and be dutiful. <br />
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Onto blogness goodness.. .<br />
Phew... today I am pooped! Yesterday I fell off track and did not do my planned workout. I did very little cardio and the Fab Ab program. I am throwing out the excuse that my allergies are kicking my butt. (Hence the goal to eat an orange a day during the winter). lol. <br />
I am hugely thankful to have FINALLY got called for a job interview today. So I planned out my day as such: <br />
Interview at 1pm then on my way home stop by the gym to make up for missing yesterdays workout. <br />
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Woot woot I did! Almost forgot because my voice started crackling and nose clogging/running (STUPID sinus'!!) . But as I was entering in an address into my GPS I remembered. So I entered in my gyms address and boom, I was at the gym. Caught up on working out my legs and arms along with cardio. I did not do as much cardio as I wanted, but made sure to warm up and cool down with the teadmill. It was funny... during my cool down on the treadmill I saw a skinny girl wearing the same yellow color shirt and black bottoms (I wore pants she wore shorts) and had hair up the same way as I did (a high pony tail). So I thought... there's my after picture. lol. Motivated me to finish up the last 10 mins on treadmill when I wanted to quit. It was only an added bonus that an oober cute guy decided to go on the machine next to me... lol. We were going at the same pace the whole time.. and get this.. he stopped before I did.. hehehe... <br />
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Felt good to finish... Im trying to be okay with the fact I didnt do as much cardio as I wanted.. At least I went right... lol... oie.. <br />
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So yes...<br />
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Thank you everyone<br />
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And a HUGE special thank you to Sisterhood for the Shrinking Jeans and my team! <br />
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2013 is ours!!!<br />
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<br />aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-91545255096799067042013-01-02T12:32:00.000-08:002013-01-02T12:32:03.479-08:00Goal Rough Draft and suchJust so everyone knows, I am thinking of doing daily posts (or every other day) during the "making a habit" phase to keep me accountable and such. So yeah... sorry a head of time to the nonsense posts I create.. lol. <div>
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So part of the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans (check them out here: http://shrinkingjeans.net/ ) is making a goal list. Can be any number. Also, Courtney Crozier (From the Biggest Loser Season 11, http://courtneycrozier.com/?p=194) posted a nifty idea to pick 13 goals for 2013. Tying both the Sisterhood's and Courtney's ideas, one can break up a "major" goal into benchmark goals for higher achievement feelings. For instance: the goal to Run a 5K can be broken down into benchmark goals of running .5 mile straight, 1 mile straight, 2 miles straight, etc.. </div>
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So in thinking of goals for myself (I can create a book length worth of goals..lol).. but narrowing down and breaking down some will take some time.. so I will post what is meandering around in my head until I finalize on Friday my goal list that I will create a poster of sorts and put on my motivation wall so I can check as I accomplish and always be aware of my goals. I will set up my goal list monthly. So I can re-assess at end of month for the next month. I can fix the game plan if need to at that time also. So here goes nothing. </div>
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Goals: </div>
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<b><i>January Goals--</i></b> </div>
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Main goal: Lose 9 lbs (2lbs a week)</div>
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How I will accomplish main goal:</div>
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-----Spend 30 hours at the gym. </div>
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----- Complete the Sisterhood's Fab-Abs January program</div>
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-----Cut out two soda drinks a week </div>
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---- Be accountable to blog, twitter, facebook, Sisterhood group</div>
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---- Stretch hip flexors 4xs week, if not daily</div>
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---- Pray daily</div>
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Im going to sleep on those and see if need or want to add anything. Yup. </div>
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On a side note, I am surprised at how not sore I am. I expected (because of past experiences) to barely be able to walk today, but Im good. Just a 'lil sore. Oh and I finally think I figured out my hip pain that I've had for 10 years now. I think I have oober tight hip flexors. Which makes sense now when I think back to certain positions that caused pain, etc. And how/why my body is positioned the way it is. So I will be doing yoga and other stretches designed for opening the hip flexors. Hopefully that will allow me to not only do more activity, but also fix my posture. </div>
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Today's plan is to do a yoga video I have (on top of the Fab-Abs routine). </div>
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Everyone have a GREAT day!! We CAN do this!! </div>
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aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-13505837778135132352013-01-01T14:45:00.000-08:002013-01-01T14:45:03.636-08:00Earned my Shower! Hehe. Went to the gym and definitely earned my shower.
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I went to my gym for the first time at this location. So I asked for a tour. The gal was pretty nice, and was encouraging. She "pushed" for me to sign up for their new Kettle Bell class. But I told her I want to get back in my groove first. Which for me normally is after a week. After I get comfortable in the gym (where the equipment is,etc.). But I hope to get more active in the classes and such this year. We shall see. They have a cycling room which got me excited. That is one "ultimate" goal for me. I do wish to do a cycle class. But at my size now and how close the bikes are I cant. I get too self conscious and claustrophobic. But I am hopeful that will change before the end of the year!
So yes.. after my tour I began my workout. It was a little uncomfortable at first, but I created a tunnel vision type thing to help me get through. I have a few notes of why I enjoy the gym (aside from the physical benefits).<br />
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1) Its funny seeing guys in spandex shorts. Im not used to seeing that, and apparently thats "the thing" for this area. At least for the above 30 guys. I saw about 4 guys in those shorts. I grinned every time.<br />
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2) The EYE CANDY!!! hehe. Its a nice time consumer watching them do weights. Helped me get through and finish my elliptical work out. I would say that the eye candy helps eliminate my desire for sweets, but Im not about to lie! lol. I know I will crave a candy at some point this week, month, year.<br />
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3) I like being that person that another individual goes next to. You know that situation where you walk in to do a machine and scope out the open ones and who is around them. Im not sure about you, but I always choose the one with the most space between me and the others. Then choose the one that has someone that is less intimidating to me. I like being that person that is less intimidating to another. Especially to someone who is close to my size. lol..<br />
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Yup.
I spent 1.5 hours at the gym today. I made sure to not push myself too hard! Especially since it's been 2 months since I was last at the gym. I plan on doing some yoga and stretching before I go to bed tonight to complete my first day on track.
I plan on using this to keep me accountable with everything. So if it's been a while since Ive posted GET ON ME!!! Write me!!! Yes.
aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-62659167948054292562013-01-01T14:27:00.001-08:002013-01-01T14:27:55.795-08:00New Year BeginningsSo..the new year is here. Welcome 2013!!
Started the day off with weighing myself and taking a picture for the Sisterhood of Shrinking Jeans challenge Im doing. At risk of embarrasment, but for full disclosure, here is the beginning weigh-in.
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My January goal is to lose 10lbs. So end of January weight be 240.
I am using multiple calorie/food trackers and will weed out after seeing which one I like best. But as of today/now I am using Noom, FitnessPal, and the BodyBugg. It's interesting seeing the differences amongst them, in terms of the calories, etc.
I plan on working out at the gym AT LEAST 3 times for an hour. I actually hope to go more often, but am making the minimum must do 3xs. Doing cardio everyday. Then alternating between legs, arms, and extra cardio. Plus doing the monthly challenges the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans group does. This month they are doing Abs.
Yup. This feels good/right this time. I plan on going to the gym later today. woot woot. aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-3874676358476179592012-12-30T18:27:00.001-08:002012-12-30T18:27:23.437-08:00Well this is a major fail! lol..
So.. here we ago again. Round 1002 of trying this blog thing.
This will be a mumble jumble blog. I am hoping to mainly use it for my weight-loss journey. However will include lessons learned and random things here and there.
We are one day away from 2013. I have a good feeling about this coming year! In all aspects. Spiritually, mentally, and physically I am excited for whats to come. The ups and downs, lefts and rights, what may come I know I can make it through and succeed.
After my home church's message today, I am oober pumped. Main words stuck out, and here they are:
BELIEVE
have FAITH
I think those will be my main words to help me through this journey this year. No longer will I make New Year's Resolutions only to fail again. From now on I am making goals. Small step goals so I can have success. I will post those when the new year is here.
I am hoping this blog will help me to not only help myself, but help others. I am branching outside my comfort zone this time for my journey. I hope that my story can help another person in their journey.
Thank you for reading this blog!
Lets do this..
2013 is ours!
aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-86684228168380782532012-01-16T10:09:00.000-08:002012-01-16T10:09:46.258-08:00Bench press my body weightOh yeah..thats a goal! At my highest point I was able to press 20lbs shy of my weight.... I want to get back there only add the 20lbs to the bar and press my body weight. <br />
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Todays weight: 263<br />
Last week: 265<br />
Start: 272<br />
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Only down two pounds, but it's more then I expected. This last week was really hard for me. No real reason why. I just was fighting my mind. I did not go to the gym at all or walk my dog last week. And the cravings were HIGH. Although I was able to not eat those cravings, but my portion control was no where in sight. <br />
But this is a new week. <br />
My goal is to go to the gym at least once (I know thats not much but it's a start), walk my dog at least twice, stay on track with points, and say goodbye to 3 pounds this week.aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-45816669869333673692012-01-15T21:51:00.001-08:002012-01-15T21:51:05.543-08:00Vision board ponderingsSo this is a "side post". Lol. Like side note but blog version. Hehe. <br />
<br />
This past week has been hard for me on-the motivation side. It's like i "want" to go to the gym, but I can't get my body to go. The whole talking myself out thing is happening again. They say mind over matter... And my mind is holding me back. Arg.. So there's another thing on my list to fix. <br />
<br />
Anywhoo back to the post. I have been struggling with motivation and so I decided to create a vision board. Not just for weightless Which is the main goal but for other things in my life. I have been collecting images for awhile so I guess subconsciously I wanted to Create one a long time ago. Lol. But when seeing some images I picked out, as well as looking at some other peoples' boards, a question and fear cane to my mind: <br />
Where is the line between a healthy weightless vision board and the type known as thinspo or thinsporation? <br />
<br />
I know for some people they don't even have to worry about crossing that line between healthy weight loss and an eating disorder. But (honesty moment hear please don't judge) I have struggled with eating disorders in the past. I have gotten help and really with all the true life tv how's about them and from my psych classes, I can say I know enough to not go back to that point. <br />
But it is this experience that brings a cautious eye to the creation of these boards for me. I am in no way against them ( I mean I'm going o create one). I just know how easy it can be to slip into the pressures and allow images that at first were meant to motivate and inspire on the positive side turn into images of negativity and used for comparison and lower esteem even more. <br />
So what or where is that line? <br />
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Can the mental view stay and keep its purpose? <br />
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Anyways. Sorry about the blah fest! <br />
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When I finally complete mine I will post a picture. <br />
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Another post to come tomorrow (I'm hoping). aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-26569471169301221232012-01-10T22:18:00.001-08:002012-01-16T10:06:35.968-08:00Not be the "you're big" therapistEveryone knows how brutally honest kiddos are. I'm doing thus weightless journey to no longer get the "youre big" "why are you big" from the kiddos I work with. <br />
<br />
So.. The first week of 2012 is done and so it's time to post the results (am going to post weekly). <br />
<br />
Starting weight: 272<br />
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End of week 1: 265<br />
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Woot Woot!! That's including many factors. I was only expecting barely 1 or 2 pounds. Going to keep this excitement to push me through week 2. <br />
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Thank you to everyone who has helped encourage me through this journey so far. <br />
<br />
This is MY year!aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-6232304059013571242012-01-04T21:54:00.001-08:002012-01-04T21:54:06.985-08:00Run the Tunnel to Towers eventSomeday (if they are still doing it) I WILL run the Tunnel to Towers race. Found out about this year on the anniversary of 9/11. And I knew I had to add it to my list. <br />
<br />
Now onto the nitty gritty. The only thing I have done is kept up with my points since the last post on here. Haven't been able to get to the gym or walk my dog. But luckily my sickness us goin away! <br />
Created a calendar that is now posted on my fridge of the meals for the month. I'm excited! Also am going to a Fresh and Easy store this weekend to grocery shop. Ladies at my work office were talkin about it today so I decided to check it out. I am missing my Trader Joes though! Wish they'd put one closer to me. Maybe next time I'll just be sure to bring an ice chest or something. <br />
<br />
Even though I've really only been tracking the food I've been eating, I feel a difference. I know that sounds weird, but instead of eating s buttload of junk I'm actually becoming more conscious of what I'm putting in my body. Now ofcourse I know I still have room for improvement, but it's only the first week. <br />
<br />
Now onto finishing off the work week and then the good stuff. aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-91980166949899884932012-01-01T20:54:00.001-08:002012-01-01T20:54:03.054-08:00For realizationDay 1 of the new year. Pretty good one if I say so myself. Tracked my food/points. Stayed within the points. Honestly it was a struggle. That is a bit sad, but with the realization of how "low" my strength is it comes to food, comes the desire to change. <br />
<br />
So.. For the title " for realization" is for many things. <br />
Realization that I have let myself get so weak and allow food to control my life. No longer! Now the only "rulers" of my life are God and myself. <br />
So instead of turning to food when I'm bored, I get up and do something.<br />
Instead of turning to food when I get upset, open the Bible or turn to here. Lol. <br />
Food no longer is my drug of choice. <br />
<br />
Life is!! <br />
<br />
<br />
aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-73382809510873724432011-12-31T21:08:00.001-08:002011-12-31T21:08:45.487-08:00To let the "true" me showAs 2011 cones to an end, I look back at the year and am amazed at how much can happen.... so quickly too. This year came with it's ups and downs, but as you can tell by the fact I'm writing this, I survived. If I was truly honest I would say I have grown a lot!<br />
<br />
This is shown ( to me at least) by the fact that someone I met at the lowest point of this year for me told me the other day that she's a change in me. I have experienced so much this year that I am a stronger and slightly more confident person. Though she did tell me that she knows of the one major reason why the " true" me isn't coming out. But that is what I am working on starting in 2012. For reals this time. <br />
I have a plan.<br />
I have an accountability person.<br />
<br />
I am ready to let myself live. <br />
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I don't look back on this past year and regret things done or not done. Instead I feel the change that occurred me. It feels good to "take charge" and not let things pass by. <br />
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One step at I time. <br />
<br />
One day at a time. <br />
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I welcome 2012 with open arms. aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-28546100878981429372011-12-27T21:07:00.001-08:002011-12-27T21:07:45.091-08:00To no longer be just a pretty smileWell after a really long sabbatical I'm back.. I know I know where have I been? Lol... <br />
<br />
As the new year approaches the normal of resolution creations begin. for me there have been a ton of resolutions not succeeded. So this new year I'm not making any resolutions, they will only set me up for failure which will cause part of the reason why I even need resolutions. So instead I'm making plans. <br />
<br />
Already have it set ip to go to the gym after work. <br />
Know my eating plan (weight watcher).<br />
Have a budget planned out.<br />
Am making dr. Appointments <br />
<br />
This new year I have deemed my Year of Health.<br />
<br />
No longer am I going to accept me caring about everyone and thing but myself. In order to be there for others I need to take care of myself. I am finally at a point (mentally) to set things in motion. <br />
My life, my job, and my future need me to take care of myself NOW! <br />
<br />
I can't wait until the session of work where I can be more active with the kiddo... Where I don't need to take a second to catch my breath just simply going up stairs to the office. Even more now is the fire in me to complete this.. <br />
sure I hope I won't the lottery of the biggest loser but if I am meant to do it "on my own" then I will. No more sitting on my tooshy hoping my number comes up in the BL lottery. Yes I plan on still auditioning ... But i am going to be a little bit lighter each time until I am under the cut off weight. <br />
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So, as I create my " plan" and dream boards and prepare myself I will enjoy the newest seasons of weight-loss shows and cheering peeps on twitter or f-book.<br />
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But most of all I will begin loving me. aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-55695893557632170232011-10-13T20:28:00.000-07:002011-10-13T20:28:16.913-07:00To get up without making a "oomph" type noise..Well.. long time no write! It has been a whirlwind... not really.. but time has gone fast (you will find I will say that a lot!! because it really does..lol)<br />
<br />
Lets see... <br />
The most "major" thing so far is I got a job!!! (throwing arms up in air in celebration)... I am still in training, but it's going good so far and have gotten good feedback from the trainers.. I am working towards being a Behavioral Therapist. I realized going into the session trainings, that I play things up in my mind to psych me out. I just finished my first week of trainings, and looking back I wish I did not have any thoughts. I was soo anxious wanting to soak everything in and not wanting to mess up in front of the trainers, that I set myself aside/I was not my full potential. This is not the only thing I do this with... just another thing I need to work on.. haha.. <br />
Anywhoo... after each session, I get more and more confident. And more and more relaxed. Not that it has been easy peasy... but I was worried that I could not cut it. And I am proving to myself that I can. So woohoo... lol.. <br />
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Now if only I could take that confidence to my health! I have been on a spiral down again. Excuses up the wahzoo!! From wanting to wait till I figure out what my schedule is going to be to not wanting to because I want to be able to move during the sessions.... It's ridiculous!! But Im trying to push myself to get back on track now. I have the whole weekend to "recoup" from a workout... my goal is to go at least twice this weekend. Then my sessions are all in the evenings, so I can get a morning and/or late night workouts in during the weeks. Then after my final exam I will re-evalutate my schedule and make further "arrangements"... That is the goal at least. I told myself I wanted to be lighter by the next BL audition.. and I will be!! <br />
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It is FALL!!!! woohooo!! Now if only the weather will catch up...lol... it has been fall weather then HOTT for a couple days.. then back to fall weather... then hot again.. augh... It's been really whacking out my allergies.. lol.. but eh... <br />
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Im excited for what's to come!!aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-29860476314091901512011-09-20T22:13:00.000-07:002011-09-20T22:13:37.028-07:00To show myself I can do it**Lose weight to show myself I can do it. I have spent my whole life trying to get to a healthy weight... and instead of maintaining then losing more, its been more of a roller coaster.. leading me to think down on myself and I put up that wall that makes me gain again... it's almost like I'm afraid of being skinny/healthy. I dont know what it is to be skinny.. so it would be a foreign thing at first. I want to conquer this fear and prove to myself I can***<br />
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Tonight was the season premiere of the Season 12 Biggest Loser. Can I just say.. AH-MAZING!!! Good stuff... Im already looking forward to the next episode!! And I have a little trainer crush on Dolvett!!! lol... Oh.. Based on the previews, I would be blushing my butt off.. all the cute guys as guests appearances.... phewie... lol... <br />
<br />
Im excited for this season!!! And the next one too...lol... <br />
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Oh.. and they already are taking interest notes for season 14!! CRAZY!!! Now I know that's not saying they will be casting for it already... Im sure they are waiting a few months... but man... lol.. <br />
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OHHHH!!! AND>.... My mom FINALLY agreed to try out for Season 15/16 with me!!! Woot woot!! I cant wait... ofcourse by then I hope to be close to the minimum weight theyll accept..But I think it would be AWESOME for my mom and I to do this... (if we got that far ofcourse). <br />
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So... onto a good nights sleep hopefully... <br />
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oh. p.s. I got 2 workouts in today!! And.. drum roll please.......... I hit my calorie intake/outake goals!!! partay!!! lol...aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-63176195936204734302011-09-19T16:09:00.000-07:002011-09-19T16:09:10.958-07:00Play a FULL game of tag w/ my little cousins* Lose weight to be able to play a full game of tag with my little cousins without getting winded or tired in the first few seconds... ***<br />
<br />
I began wearing my Bugg again this past weekend... (round of applause)... I must admit I have not reached the daily output goals or the step goals... Ive been between 100-300 cals short. But I like seeing the deficit lol... thats why I love this thing... <br />
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BIGGEST LOSER starts tomorrow night!!!! Sooo excited...lol.. I guess that's another thing the audition process did for me. I get more excited for the seasons. And this is weird (but ya know thats me...Im weird..lol) but it's almost like Im right there with them. Like I was chosen and am an alumni with them... so Im cheering them on. If that comes across in the freak stalkerish way I in NO way mean it that way.... I just feel "closer" to them since Ive been through the process of auditioning... Just imagine how I will be on season 13!! lol.. Cant wait to see the cast of that season too... to see if I'll be able to say "I know that person" or "I met that person"... fun stuff... lol.. Maybe someday this feeling will become a truth... but one thing I know for sure is someday I will not need the show (if i never get on). <br />
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The heat is back on for the last week of summer... sadface! But is supposed to cooling down by the time fall hits... MY FAVORITE season!!!!! wooohooo!!! <br />
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Patches (my dog) is doing well... we went for a walk around our street yesterday... he did good.. even got to have a little play session with a few of our neighbors dogs... I thought we were "bonded" enough for him to come to me in that scenario.. but no.. he ended up following the other dogs next door and would not come to me when I called him... so.. looks like training for us we will go when I get a job... until then, no free play or dog parks w/out a leash. sadface... <br />
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Yep... Just excited for tomorrow night!! woohoo!!aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-86687057024124378472011-09-17T21:57:00.000-07:002011-09-17T21:57:40.405-07:00A FreckleNote: I am now titling my posts with items from my bucketlist and reasons why I want to lose weight and be healthy. This is being used as tool to help keep me motivated on this journey.<br />
<br />
A freckle.... There is a freckle on my ribs that I have always wanted to show off. I know I know that is weird..lol.. But there is something about that freckle.. the placement.. the size... lol.. To be able to wear a bathing suit (bikini or those one pieces that have sides cut out) where that freckle peeks out would be great. lol... I imagine myself having that "OOOHHHH YYEEEAAAAHHH" type feeling..lol.. <br />
<br />
Anywhoo.. sorry if I just weirded you out.. but eh.. <br />
<br />
I just finished one of my classes... Abnormal Psychology. I am sad! I loved this subject. Mainly because this subject covers a lot of the issues I will be covering in my counseling. But the class itself was great. For those that dont know, I am doing my coursework online through an online university. This class gave me that actual classroom experience. It was GREAT! The discussions, responses, group work... it was all great. I hope the future courses go as well as this one... <br />
There is only one sad note about this class...lol.. Even though it was my favorite subject so far, it is the first class I am getting a B in with this program. SADFACE!!! lol... At least that is how it is looking.. I have an 88%.. but still need my case study and class review to be graded. But I am not holding my breath to see it get up to at least an A- .. But I am still happy none the less... The experience was worth it. <br />
<br />
This class makes the desire to start my career now... I have been checking the job listings daily for the nonprofits... and nothing I can apply for yet... <br />
<br />
I could go on for pages..lol.. so I will stop while Im ahead and go onto another subject... <br />
<br />
I have dog fever!! lol... I already want to get another dog... To give my current one a play buddy... He is breaking out of his shell now and is getting used to my house/environment and he has started to play.. wOOOHOOO!!! lol.. I was so glad when he did... its soo cute!! ha.. <br />
<br />
<br />
Anyway..on the subject of exercise.. I get a big fat F for this past week!! I havent tracked my intake.. and havent worn the bugg so I have no idea of my output... but my weight has stayed the same... I am thinking about my freckle (HAHAHA) and will wear the band starting tonight! I know I can do this.. I want to... I moved here to focus on me and get healthy... and it's time to! No more excuses... no more putting it off... it starts now.... <br />
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So next thing I know... my freckle will be on display...lol.. (the song "on display" by the real housewife of new jersey Melissa popped in my head)..aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-73235903787643831232011-09-11T15:35:00.000-07:002011-09-11T15:36:17.348-07:00Day of RemembranceThat is what today is! <br />
<br />
Ten years ago this morning, I was 14. A sophomore in high school. I was waking up to get ready for school and my dad had the news on. Breaking news was on, and a plane had crashed into the first tower. I began asking my dad a ton of questions, what does that mean? was it an accident? <br />
Then off to school I went. Going on campus everyone was buzzing about it. Not as much as the teachers, but every once in a while one of us would mention it. Onto the first class and the teacher let us watch the news for class. By this time the second plane had already crashed into the second tower and we witnessed the towers collapse. We also learned that it was a terrorist attack. That was... breathtaking (in a sad way). I remember thinking did everyone get out? Are all the people on the ground okay? What about the emergency responders? <br />
For the rest of the day we had teachers "updating" us on the news but saying we need to try to focus on school/subject. Then I had volleyball practice. So I did not get to get more information until dinner time, 6ish. I got the full information about the numbers rising of people missing, injured, etc. Then the Pentagon and the plane in PA. <br />
When the news stated that responders from Cali were forming to go to NY, I wondered if my dad would go. At that time he was a fire fighter. But he didnt. <br />
<br />
From that day to know, whenever thinking/watching/looking at pics/etc I always get an overwhelming sense of sorrow. All those people gone, injured, lost a loved one that day... then add all the families who lost a loved one from them going off to fight for us..So much death... so much hurt... it's just so sad. <br />
<br />
In the newspaper this morning, there was an opinion article that I loved! It was in the Press Enterprise, in the Perspective section. Written by Leonard Pitts, he had written it on Sept. 11th 2001. HEre are some quotes that I LOVE! <br />
"Did you want to tear us apart? You just brought us together. Let me tell you about my people. WE are a vast and quarrelsome family, a family rent by racial, cultural, political, and class division, but a family nonetheless. We're frivolous, yes, capable of expending tremendous emotional energy on pop cultural minutiae: a singer's revealing dress, a ball team's misfortune, a cartoon mouse." <br />
"Yes, were in pain now. We are in mourning and we are in shock. We're still grappling with the unreality of the awful thing you did, still working to make ourselves understand that this isnt a special effect from some Hollywood blockbuster, isnt the plot develppment from a Tom Clancy novel." <br />
"You see, there is steel beneath this velvet. That aspect of our character is seldom understood by people who don't know us well. On this day, the family's bickering is put on hold. As Americans we will weep, as Americans we will mourn, and as Americans, we will rise in defense of all that we cherish."<br />
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Those were my favorite quotes from his article. The following is my favorite cartoon. There were many good ones in today's comics, but this one sums it all. lol... <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_wZ46Zf3hwK72DcJ-sRzx3wgmkZTgxQKf9_qIVQ5uHyr18cgqy17YWcalLCLD5oUuKdzYkDsJG-pci6ql7MRtAV7OPYMpVEmv_T9IjKO95Q9ceQR_QMyONoyByf1wjVKyICzobU87qNop/s1600/sherman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="175" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_wZ46Zf3hwK72DcJ-sRzx3wgmkZTgxQKf9_qIVQ5uHyr18cgqy17YWcalLCLD5oUuKdzYkDsJG-pci6ql7MRtAV7OPYMpVEmv_T9IjKO95Q9ceQR_QMyONoyByf1wjVKyICzobU87qNop/s320/sherman.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
"Today will be a day that will live in infamy." <br />
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To me, Sept. 11th is a "new" July 4th. Only it is remembered more. <br />
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Songs such as Lee Greenwoods "Im Proud to Be an American" and Alan Jacksons "Where were you when the world stopped turning" are both GREAT songs for today! <br />
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Prayers to those lost, who lost loved ones, and those who helped.aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-18753270833212246692011-09-08T16:06:00.000-07:002011-09-11T15:11:43.831-07:00The Beat Goes On...Random song that popped in my head before I sat down to write this.. lol.. <br />
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Anywhoo... it has been a week.. my time does fly by... phew... it seems to go faster every year.. <br />
<br />
So I started using my BodyBugg. that thing is COOL! I never knew how many calories I actually expelled. Even on days where I assume it would only be like 100 cals.. turns out to be a lot more then that.. lol.. <br />
<br />
But after a couple days into tracking I got sick. Sick with the stomach flu... those things are not fun!!! Augh... I couldnt handle having that on my arm.. it was uncomfortable to me at that time... and I havent put it back on since... sigh. I am still "recovering" a little from it... but thats no excuse for not putting it on.. i just havent done it. <br />
<br />
Got my dog!!! My mom thought of a great name for him.. Patches. Because of his coloring, he has patches of color on his white coat. He is a cutie! Went to the shelter to look.. and funny thing is I originally was interested in his kennel mate. But did not like the way it interacted with other dogs, so I decided against it. Then I couldnt decide from the other dogs there so went to the local petco/petsmarts. Only to come back to the shelter... and I wanted to interact with Patches and a couple other dogs... and Patches was moved inside... hehe... and the moment I saw him there in his room I knew he was the one. lol... But I second guessed myself and decided to take another walk around to look at the other dogs I was interested in. Then I finally got a volunteer to get Patches so we could interact.. we being my mom and I with Patches. And I was sold on him right away. He was a love bug. And he was able to listen to me when I told him to visit with my mom...lol.. it was funny. And he wasnt "yappy" or anything.. and he interacted well with other dogs too.. So I filled out paperwork for adoption! So a day full of looking at animals (10am to 4pm)... I went home happy knowing I picked a good one. <br />
Then Tuesday I got to pick him up from the animal hospital (had to get neutered).. Let me tell you. He did not make me a happy camper at night! lol... he kept me up ALL night.. only letting me get 10-15 mins of sleep at a time.. lol.. But the second night was better. He still whimpered a little but not much... and I actually got sleep last night!!! So Im looking forward to when there will be no whimpering..lol.. but he is a good dog other then that. Still have to do some training (for both him and I), but I heart him! <br />
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And back to the biggest loser stuff...lol... looking back, it truly has allowed to me to "come into my own"... I feel more confident. Its a lot more then just simply that.. but not sure how to explain it..lol.. Let's just say I am excited for season 14 casting time..lol.. Ill be a few pounds lighter, but plan on being more confident. Just thinking about being an alumn is breathtaking. To have that family... to encourage others... ofcourse the healthy lifestyle I will be living too..lol.. It's like the possibilities are endless... I have ALWAYS... and by always I literally mean always.. wanted to help another person or persons. Now the profession has changed through the years (teacher, counselor, inspirational speaker, teacher, social worker, therapist)... lol.. but the goal was always to help someone better their life. This would be a BIG door opening for just that. To see how Olivia, Hannah, Adam, Ken, Austin, Ali, etc.. are doing just that... It would be amazing to list my name under theirs as a speaker at an event. To be able to run a marathon for a charity. Man... it's just exciting. Now I do realize that it's the lottery with casting... and only one person knows if I will ever make it on the show... but each season casting I know I will be lighter. If I never make it on the show, I cant wait to say at least, I dont weight enough to be on the show. I used to say that when the show first started... Now I get excited thinking about being able to say that. So no matter the outcome in the years to come, I have a good side to both outcomes. <br />
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And Patches (my new dog) is going to become one good cardio partner..lol.. <br />
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"No one can do this but you!"aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-233065031012057469.post-16158431530494410052011-08-31T14:48:00.000-07:002011-09-17T22:03:24.774-07:00Phew... had to take a couple days to "clear" my head after this weekend. <br />
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Woke up Saturday morning, got ready, and left with a new friend to the CC. Luckily, when we got there and started walking into the outlets, a lady told us that the line was already near the Gap. So instead of having to walk all the way around and through a maze, we were able to go right there. We were after this cute newlywed couple. The husband was from Canada, wife a manager at district chain. They were a great couple to have near us. Well... 10 am came and the applications were passed out. Number 163 was me!!! <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfs9keuJTgdQdJ7WH8hynvuyPSP_buwq4oSys6vJ2vRq1MFqwBJYAAHh2oB3PHRRqoBYLZaZvQqKN9NQgMXCdOyJCTE4hLKLFoAzlpeK6NRBFpFYGVGImaDCg9h24itNxOsXvdIGOk259a/s1600/DSC00057.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfs9keuJTgdQdJ7WH8hynvuyPSP_buwq4oSys6vJ2vRq1MFqwBJYAAHh2oB3PHRRqoBYLZaZvQqKN9NQgMXCdOyJCTE4hLKLFoAzlpeK6NRBFpFYGVGImaDCg9h24itNxOsXvdIGOk259a/s320/DSC00057.JPG" /></a></div><br />
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Then.. the waiting begins. Constantly being told by mall security to get more towards the center, blah blah blah. lol.. The line kept following the shade. Then FINALLY, when we were closer to the tables, security told us to push line against the buildings. DUH!! Should have done that in the first place! But oh well, at least they finally got smart. <br />
Then... I see a familiar face, ADAM HURTADO! He was a few groups in front of us, but he was the first alumn I saw. Made me happy. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6UXoIQQprfDuNt05oCXkBep076inzF1tbzcgjXNqqHtwF51KXh7xDLys5CzlwJNfGKcvWDyWWl7idUjnBY9oF2AAPEDRT8_KpXBT696LVhD5ZqZQQOpACJuwZW1IIxXiVak22s5pHQ4Ee/s1600/DSC00062.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6UXoIQQprfDuNt05oCXkBep076inzF1tbzcgjXNqqHtwF51KXh7xDLys5CzlwJNfGKcvWDyWWl7idUjnBY9oF2AAPEDRT8_KpXBT696LVhD5ZqZQQOpACJuwZW1IIxXiVak22s5pHQ4Ee/s320/DSC00062.JPG" /></a></div>Then I saw Ken and Austin Andrews. Made me even more happy! <br />
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They were the only alumns there I saw, sadface. But they were WONDERFUL! And... after talking with him, I have a teeny crush on Adam. lol... sigh... Im sure he is CONSTANTLY told that but oh well..lol..Life goes on.. ha.. <br />
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Then after meeting the alumns it was only a few minutes and we were getting our table groups. I was number 9. I got to be in Holland's table!!!! I was excited. I wanted either her or Brittney. But Brittney went on lunch break before we even got close to the tables. So we walk to Holland's table, she gives us the downlow on the questions process. And the questions are asked. We got to do 4 questions. Which I thought was pretty cool.. but I dont know if that was a good thing.lol.. anywhoo. After the time was up I got a quick picture with her. <br />
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Then me and my friend were off to lunch. We looked at the clock when we got to the car and it was 1pm. So we were in line from 8am to 1. Phew. AMAZINGLY I only got slightly sunburnt on my chest and forearms. lol.. I was expecting a ton more, but I guess Im just that sly. hehe.. <br />
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So the night went by... kept looking at the clock for 4 pm. Which is when the cc was supposed to be over. When the clock hit about 530, I checked Twitter and they had posted they were finished with the callbacks. That was disappointing! Normally they take at least 2-3 hours, but we only had like 30 mins to 1 hour. Dang. lol.. <br />
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But they told us that they were going to extend the video submission date for us a week so we can get a second chance. So... since I did not get a call I am going to resend my video. <br />
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This weekend I surprised myself! I showed myself it can be easy to be social. Normally I take time to warm up to strangers, but I took everyone quick fast! lol... <br />
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So... that is where I am at now. Sent in my video via email. They havent viewed it yet. But Im not holding my breath for a callback. I figure if they were interested in me they would have called me back from my video earlier or the cc. <br />
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So in the mean time I am going to use my new Bodybugg I won to lose weight on my own until the next CC. I look forward to doing the next one! I am thinking of going to more then one. If they do one earlier before the last one either in another cali town or in a state near us, I will be there. And.... that gives me time to talk my mom into it more.lol. She already is saying that she is looking into possibilities for leave. But whether or not she actually does it when the time comes is another thing. We shall see. <br />
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So... for the next few months this blog will be about my weight loss journey solely. Help keep me accountable! <br />
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And this weekend Im getting a doggie!!!! HEEHHEHEEHEH... Will post pics when get!! <br />
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Until the next post, yall have a great time. Remember, it's not a show that changes us, its us.aHeatherWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03746171934077507565noreply@blogger.com0