Sunday, April 7, 2013

Mental Illness and such

This post is one that hits a nerve with me.  Yesterday I read that Paster Rick Warren's son committed suicide after his lifetime suffering from depression.  In a news release, Pastor Warren mentioned something his son said 10 years ago (something that I remember praying to God about) but his son (mind you this is paraphrased a little) had said that sometimes he wonders why God cant bring him to heaven now and end this pain and suffering.
Reading that brought tears to my eyes and my heart weeps for the Warren family and EVERY family and individual that is suffering from depression and any other mental illness!!!!!!
I know from my own personal story of dealing with depression since junior high, and only since 2007   sought help for it, that it is hard living life.  For me it was especially hard being a Christian as well.  That brought in a whole other realm of questions and thoughts and fears.
But anywhoo... saving my sob story for a later date.

I hope that someday I can help a person or persons out of that darkness... or at least enough to get them away from the thoughts of ending their own life.

I will admit that to this day I still wonder sometimes why God hasnt or didnt take me years ago, and it can be hard to see the light in the darkness.  But His strength and loving arms are what have picked me up out of bed and kept me going.  I know that there is a reason Im still here, and though today (or tomorrow or whenever) may be a rough one and doesnt seem worth it, there is a reason Im going through the pain.

If someone out there reads this and is suffering, please know that you are worthy to live!! and seek help.  It is okay to reach out.

If someone out there reads this and knows someone suffering, be sure to let them know you care for them.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Shrinking Jeans Progress


So I was getting dressed to go run errands this morning and I decided to try on a pair of pants that I haven't been able to wear since 2007.  And guess what??!!!  THEY FIT!  Woot Woot!!  I am even able to bend, sit, and not have to cover my shirt because of the muffin top.  They fit nicely.  They are a little snug, but hey... Ill take it as they are!  Now I have another pair of jeans and not have to buy any.. lol..  
But yeah.. this makes me happy.  Perfect little kick to keep me going on this journey and get out of this rut.  

Phew... down to the ground now.  I need extra help this week to get my butt into gear again and get back to the gym or if weather permits run the C25K with my doggy around the local park.  He's getting stir crazy too from this whack out weather.  That would also help me out, getting a change of scenery and what-not.

So how is everyone doing?
If I can be help in any way let me know... I struggle on my own journey, but enjoy helping others and encouraging them.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Sunday Funday

Yup.. two weeks down.. woot woot.

This week has been hard due to weather and just personal low motivation.  However I have stuck to the plans.  On the rainy days I have done cardio and body weight exercise in my home along with yoga.
Man.. That Fab Abs is kicking my abs... lol.   Those planks are hitting me hard.  But it feels great!!

Had a great message at church today.  Only excites me for what more is to come for 2013.  Also, I am attending some Life Groups and todays group has me excited and scared all in one.  lol.  A good scared though.

I have been fighting the urge to step on the scale all week.  I am attempting to just weigh on check in days.. I call it "Weigh-In Wednesday."

So yeah.. resting to prep for another week of body work.

Hope everyone is doing okay..

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Challenge Week 1 Weigh-in & Confessional

So.. even though I jumped the gun a couple posts ago, today is the "official" weigh-in for the challenge.    And the weight is still the same (sadface) at 248.

It's been three days since that weigh-in.  With no pounds gone.  I know why, which is partially why its so hard to stomach.  But I admit that I did not sweat as much as I should have and did not stick to my workout routine over the weekend.  I did do everything last night (yoga and fab abs).

Today is supposed to be a gym day, but the weather is whack!  The sky must be really sad because it is raining cats and dogs and a few moans here and there.  I do not like driving when its raining this hard.  Especially in a rental car that has issues and the roads flood.  So... since Ill be "stuck" inside I'ma do an at home workout.  Doing a cardio workout plus leg workout, and a little yoga.

  I do love the yoga.  I created a dream board for this year (Will post a pic once I finish outlining).  And the dream is to go to Wanderlust Festival next year.  But in the today, I like yoga because it gives me something to envision.  There are certain poses that I either cannot do fully because of the extra body I have.  So I envision someday being able to do the pose fully and not be constrained.


On the life part, I finally have a job!  I just need to get CPR certified before I can begin.  But yep... Im excited.  Now I can go to gym before or after work or both.

K.  Hope everyone is doing well in their journey and sticking through on their goals.  It's week 2 of the new year stick with it!

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Let the people Rest

Thank goodness today is a rest day!!

I think I have an infection that switches between sinus and ear.  Once I get rid of one, the other comes.  And this morning I was wonked!!  lol.  Im still going to try to do some yoga, and I definitely am staying on the right track food wise.. but its one of those days where I just want stay in bed...

But yeah.. Im hoping this rest day will recoup my system in preparation for the new week.  I dont want to back track which happens a lot when I lose weight.  Staying motivated!

OHHH!!!!   I have decided (and recruited a friend of mine) to do a 5k at the end of March.  It's one of the Color Runs... which has me oober excited.  Anyone in the Houston, TX area available March 24th... and wants to do with.. contact me!  We can try to create a team and the price is a teeny bit less.  lol..   But yeah... Im excited because the pictures show peoples of all sizes doing it.. so yeah.. Ill be adding a 5k program to my weekly workout.  Ill be working on a walking time and half/half time.

Woot Woot!!!  Im excited.

K.. now off to thinking of my outfit for the Run...

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Weekend 1 Weigh In

Well... It's that time.  The time of the dreaded step on the scale and twinge in the gut when the numbers pop up...

Despite the rearrange of workouts and a couple mishaps in diet (I had a weakness for brownies earlier in the week)...

I still am 2 pounds down!  Woot Woot.  That leaves 13 pounds for my challenge goal (8 pounds for month goal).  SCORE!! I never thought I would see the 240's again.  Or at least in my 20's.  Only more fire lit under my feet to keep me going so I can late say the lower weights.   I feel a bit proud of this loss (despite how small it is) because a relative of mine made the comment that while living here in the south it's a hard to lose weight and probably wont happen.  So the fact that I made it happen I feel a bit more accomplishment.

Allergies are still kicking my butt... but am making sure to still get up move at least.  Normally I would want to stay in bed and watch movies and such...but since it's just sinus junk, I am making myself move.

I am excited also because today I FINALLY got myself a yoga mat, pilates ball, and yoga routine dvd. I have wanted these items for a year now... I figure I can be okay with it as putting it towards rewarding  myself for going from 272 to 248 (24 pounds gone).

I must admit also, that last night I almost did not do the Fab Abs workout. (Find it here:  )    But, I did it!  I fought the inner voice in me trying to talk me out of it.. and did it. I told myself that my day off is Sunday. And man... the planks are kicking my behind!  lol.  But I can see me at the end of the month blowing the 25 seconds out the water!  I partially dreading, but am excited for the 2min 30sec!  lol.


I like the FitnessPals "If you do like this everyday for (so many) weeks then you will weigh (such amount)"   ... lol..  It makes me excited to think I CAN weigh that much within the year.

Hope everyone stays focused over the weekend!  Dont give up!!

Friday, January 4, 2013

Goal Time, Set, Go

It's that time now.  My goals.

The first goal(s) will be for the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans Challenge.

Challenge Goals:

**WEIGHT LOSS Goal: Lose 15 Pounds

*Wear my BodyBugg daily
*Log in at least 30 hours at the gym a month
*Complete the Fab-Abs January program
*Stretch hip flexors at least 3x week

*Drink two less caffeinated drink a week & change one drink to a caffeine free drink
*Eat at least one fruit a day (Oranges during winter!! lol)
* Log food/exercise in my FitnessPal app (add me as a friend .. search ehvball00)
*Pray daily!

There is my finalized set of goals!

I want to give a thank you to the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans!  It has helped push me the past 4 days to stay on track and be dutiful.

Onto blogness goodness.. .
Phew... today I am pooped!  Yesterday I fell off track and did not do my planned workout.  I did very little cardio and the Fab Ab program.  I am throwing out the excuse that my allergies are kicking my butt.  (Hence the goal to eat an orange a day during the winter).  lol.  
I am hugely thankful to have FINALLY got called for a job interview today.  So I planned out my day as such:
Interview at 1pm then on my way home stop by the gym to make up for missing yesterdays workout.

Woot woot I did!  Almost forgot because my voice started crackling and nose clogging/running (STUPID sinus'!!) .  But as I was entering in an address into my GPS I remembered.  So I entered in my gyms address and boom, I was at the gym.  Caught up on working out my legs and arms along with cardio.  I did not do as much cardio as I wanted, but made sure to warm up and cool down with the teadmill.   It was funny... during my cool down on the treadmill I saw a skinny girl wearing the same yellow color shirt and black bottoms (I wore pants she wore shorts) and had hair up the same way as I did (a high pony tail).  So I thought... there's my after picture.  lol.   Motivated me to finish up the last 10 mins on treadmill when I wanted to quit.  It was only an added bonus that an oober cute guy decided to go on the machine next to me... lol.   We were going at the same pace the whole time.. and get this.. he stopped before I did.. hehehe...  

Felt good to finish... Im trying to be okay with the fact I didnt do as much cardio as I wanted..  At least I went right... lol...  oie..

So yes...

Thank you everyone

And a HUGE special thank you to Sisterhood for the Shrinking Jeans and my team!

2013 is ours!!!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Goal Rough Draft and such

Just so everyone knows, I am thinking of doing daily posts (or every other day) during the "making a habit" phase to keep me accountable and such.  So yeah... sorry a head of time to the nonsense posts I create.. lol.   

So part of the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans (check them out here:  )  is making a goal list.  Can be any number.   Also, Courtney Crozier (From the Biggest Loser Season 11, posted a nifty idea to pick 13 goals for 2013.  Tying both the Sisterhood's and Courtney's ideas, one can break up a "major" goal into benchmark goals for higher achievement feelings.   For instance: the goal to Run a 5K can be broken down into benchmark goals of running .5 mile straight, 1 mile straight, 2 miles straight, etc..  

So in thinking of goals for myself (I can create a book length worth of  but narrowing down and breaking down some will take some time.. so I will post what is meandering around in my head until I finalize on Friday my goal list that I will create a poster of sorts and put on my motivation wall so I can check as I accomplish and always be aware of my goals.  I will set up my goal list monthly.  So I can re-assess at end of month for the next month.  I can fix the game plan if need to at that time also.  So here goes nothing. 


January Goals-- 
Main goal:  Lose 9 lbs (2lbs a week)
How I will accomplish main goal:
-----Spend 30 hours at the gym. 
----- Complete the Sisterhood's Fab-Abs January program
-----Cut out two soda drinks a week 
---- Be accountable to blog, twitter, facebook, Sisterhood group
---- Stretch hip flexors 4xs week, if not daily
---- Pray daily

Im going to sleep on those and see if need or want to add anything.  Yup.  

On a side note, I am surprised at how not sore I am.  I expected (because of past experiences) to barely be able to walk today, but Im good.  Just  a 'lil sore.  Oh and I finally think I figured out my hip pain that I've had for 10 years now.  I think I have oober tight hip flexors.  Which makes sense now when I think back to certain positions that caused pain, etc.  And how/why my body is positioned the way it is.    So I will be doing yoga and other stretches designed for opening the hip flexors.  Hopefully that will allow me to not only do more activity, but also fix my posture.  
Today's plan is to do a yoga video I have (on top of the Fab-Abs routine).  

Everyone have a GREAT day!! We CAN do this!!  

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Earned my Shower!

Hehe. Went to the gym and definitely earned my shower.
I went to my gym for the first time at this location. So I asked for a tour. The gal was pretty nice, and was encouraging. She "pushed" for me to sign up for their new Kettle Bell class. But I told her I want to get back in my groove first. Which for me normally is after a week. After I get comfortable in the gym (where the equipment is,etc.). But I hope to get more active in the classes and such this year. We shall see. They have a cycling room which got me excited. That is one "ultimate" goal for me. I do wish to do a cycle class. But at my size now and how close the bikes are I cant. I get too self conscious and claustrophobic. But I am hopeful that will change before the end of the year! So yes.. after my tour I began my workout. It was a little uncomfortable at first, but I created a tunnel vision type thing to help me get through. I have a few notes of why I enjoy the gym (aside from the physical benefits).

 1) Its funny seeing guys in spandex shorts. Im not used to seeing that, and apparently thats "the thing" for this area. At least for the above 30 guys. I saw about 4 guys in those shorts. I grinned every time.

 2) The EYE CANDY!!! hehe. Its a nice time consumer watching them do weights. Helped me get through and finish my elliptical work out. I would say that the eye candy helps eliminate my desire for sweets, but Im not about to lie! lol. I know I will crave a candy at some point this week, month, year.

 3) I like being that person that another individual goes next to. You know that situation where you walk in to do a machine and scope out the open ones and who is around them. Im not sure about you, but I always choose the one with the most space between me and the others. Then choose the one that has someone that is less intimidating to me. I like being that person that is less intimidating to another. Especially to someone who is close to my size. lol..

Yup. I spent 1.5 hours at the gym today. I made sure to not push myself too hard! Especially since it's been 2 months since I was last at the gym. I plan on doing some yoga and stretching before I go to bed tonight to complete my first day on track. I plan on using this to keep me accountable with everything. So if it's been a while since Ive posted GET ON ME!!! Write me!!! Yes.

New Year Beginnings

So..the new year is here. Welcome 2013!! Started the day off with weighing myself and taking a picture for the Sisterhood of Shrinking Jeans challenge Im doing. At risk of embarrasment, but for full disclosure, here is the beginning weigh-in.
My January goal is to lose 10lbs. So end of January weight be 240. I am using multiple calorie/food trackers and will weed out after seeing which one I like best. But as of today/now I am using Noom, FitnessPal, and the BodyBugg. It's interesting seeing the differences amongst them, in terms of the calories, etc. I plan on working out at the gym AT LEAST 3 times for an hour. I actually hope to go more often, but am making the minimum must do 3xs. Doing cardio everyday. Then alternating between legs, arms, and extra cardio. Plus doing the monthly challenges the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans group does. This month they are doing Abs. Yup. This feels good/right this time. I plan on going to the gym later today. woot woot.