To show myself I can do it

**Lose weight to show myself I can do it. I have spent my whole life trying to get to a healthy weight... and instead of maintaining then losing more, its been more of a roller coaster.. leading me to think down on myself and I put up that wall that makes me gain again... it's almost like I'm afraid of being skinny/healthy. I dont know what it is to be skinny.. so it would be a foreign thing at first. I want to conquer this fear and prove to myself I can***

Tonight was the season premiere of the Season 12 Biggest Loser. Can I just say.. AH-MAZING!!! Good stuff... Im already looking forward to the next episode!! And I have a little trainer crush on Dolvett!!! lol... Oh.. Based on the previews, I would be blushing my butt off.. all the cute guys as guests appearances.... phewie... lol...

Im excited for this season!!! And the next one too...lol...

Oh.. and they already are taking interest notes for season 14!! CRAZY!!! Now I know that's not saying they will be casting for it already... Im sure they are waiting a few months... but man... lol..

OHHHH!!! AND>.... My mom FINALLY agreed to try out for Season 15/16 with me!!! Woot woot!! I cant wait... ofcourse by then I hope to be close to the minimum weight theyll accept..But I think it would be AWESOME for my mom and I to do this... (if we got that far ofcourse).

So... onto a good nights sleep hopefully...

oh. p.s. I got 2 workouts in today!! And.. drum roll please.......... I hit my calorie intake/outake goals!!! partay!!! lol...