Saturday, July 30, 2011

Entry One of this Journey

So. I decided to write all about my experience of hoping, praying, everything to get on the Biggest Loser. It all started back in March when they were casting for BL12... I wanted to try out but back out at the last minute. I wasnt prepared for it yet. I still needed a lot more help then just the BL. So I started going to therapy to get healthy mentally. After a few months past, and a number sessions I am getting better. Still not 100 percent better, but definitely better then back in March. So the months passed by and I keep up with the BL info (I like to be up on the 411, and hope to make friends from the BL or BL hopefuls so we can encourage each other). And I find out that this month (July) that they are casting for season 13 already. And everything in me said DO IT!!! I dont have any excuses any more. Sure I could back out and talk myself out of it again, but I dont want to. I am at a point in my life where I can do this. Why put off something SOOOO amazing anymore when I could not have the chance again. So I discussed with my mom and though it would be good for her to do it too, she is not ready for it. So it's decided Im dong it on my own.
Found the BL 13 casting Facebook page to help stay up on the 411. Especially now since I am going for it. And I have made a few acquaintaces on there. When BL casting crew posted the website, city and dates I was on top of it. Got all my information I needed to do this. Picked out a hotel the night they posted the venue for the LA (the LAST casting call). That was that. I was ready. Only then I had to wait a whole month and a half. Sadface.
But man time has been flying! They started their month long casting trip this weekend. Now only 3 more weekends until my casting call.
I did create a video submission to give me a second route of trying. Since the cut-off for video submissions is the day before my cc, I can't wait to find out if I get a callback from the cc. So I have to send in before. So I made my video after a week of filming and editing and brainstorming what to do. lol.. I even created something to the last minute. I burned a video onto a dvd and was going to send out the next day, only that night I thought of something else. So instead of sending it, I filmed that idea and added it to the video then burned another dvd. And I send it out yesterday. And OF COURSE I added delivery confirmation! So every so often I check the usps website to see where it is at. So I can expect a call any day after me tell you!!!! The moment I drove out of the parking lot, I was full of emotions! Hoping that I can make enough of an impression on them in the video. Was I outgoing enough? Did I show them how I stand out from the crowd? Did I ever look like I just rolled out of bed? Everything! Excitement because it was coming.
Today was their first day of cc's. So people have been posting if they got a callback or not. Honestly, I've been getting mixed emotions. I mean, I am EXCITED for those that did!!!! And hope they get their dreams came true!!! But then I hear that they are teams, and Im by myself. But, if it is meant to be it will happen. I am just praying that it is meant to happen!!! lol..

I do say though. This whole process has been life changing already. I started this "journey" having a vey bad self image. I hated my body. But this process of deciding to try-out, creating the video, meeting others who also want on the show has helped me to "own up." To accept my body. Now instead of looking at my body and hating it, I am okay with it and know I need to work on it. Know that I dont have to be like this forever. Like I mentioned earlier, I am done making excuses. Even though I DO want to be on the show because I need that extra help (trainers/nutritionist/doc) I know that I can make changes in my life to do the weightloss myself. Sure if wont happen quickly or as efficiently as on BL, but slowly and surely I can. I know this to be true because when I made the decision to try-out, I changed my eating habits. Now therapy is helping that out too, but instead of eating fast food a ton, I barely eat it now. I started Weight Watchers. Seriously this time though. Though I have my slip-ups sometimes, I dont let it get me down like it normally did. I am serious now, and am ready for this change.
So Biggest Loser or Not, this woman will lose weight.

This blog will be about this journey. From the days waiting for the casting call, to (God I hope I make it, but if I dont) days after the CC and so on. It wont be easy I know. But its my life and it's time for me to take charge!

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