Bench press my body weight

Oh yeah..thats a goal! At my highest point I was able to press 20lbs shy of my weight.... I want to get back there only add the 20lbs to the bar and press my body weight.

Todays weight: 263
Last week: 265
Start: 272

Only down two pounds, but it's more then I expected. This last week was really hard for me. No real reason why. I just was fighting my mind. I did not go to the gym at all or walk my dog last week. And the cravings were HIGH. Although I was able to not eat those cravings, but my portion control was no where in sight.
But this is a new week.
My goal is to go to the gym at least once (I know thats not much but it's a start), walk my dog at least twice, stay on track with points, and say goodbye to 3 pounds this week.

Vision board ponderings

So this is a "side post". Lol. Like side note but blog version. Hehe.

This past week has been hard for me on-the motivation side. It's like i "want" to go to the gym, but I can't get my body to go. The whole talking myself out thing is happening again. They say mind over matter... And my mind is holding me back. Arg.. So there's another thing on my list to fix.

Anywhoo back to the post. I have been struggling with motivation and so I decided to create a vision board. Not just for weightless Which is the main goal but for other things in my life. I have been collecting images for awhile so I guess subconsciously I wanted to Create one a long time ago. Lol. But when seeing some images I picked out, as well as looking at some other peoples' boards, a question and fear cane to my mind:
Where is the line between a healthy weightless vision board and the type known as thinspo or thinsporation?

I know for some people they don't even have to worry about crossing that line between healthy weight loss and an eating disorder. But (honesty moment hear please don't judge) I have struggled with eating disorders in the past. I have gotten help and really with all the true life tv how's about them and from my psych classes, I can say I know enough to not go back to that point.
But it is this experience that brings a cautious eye to the creation of these boards for me. I am in no way against them ( I mean I'm going o create one). I just know how easy it can be to slip into the pressures and allow images that at first were meant to motivate and inspire on the positive side turn into images of negativity and used for comparison and lower esteem even more.
So what or where is that line?

Can the mental view stay and keep its purpose?


Anyways. Sorry about the blah fest!

When I finally complete mine I will post a picture.

Another post to come tomorrow (I'm hoping).

Not be the "you're big" therapist

Everyone knows how brutally honest kiddos are. I'm doing thus weightless journey to no longer get the "youre big" "why are you big" from the kiddos I work with.

So.. The first week of 2012 is done and so it's time to post the results (am going to post weekly).

Starting weight: 272

End of week 1: 265

Woot Woot!! That's including many factors. I was only expecting barely 1 or 2 pounds. Going to keep this excitement to push me through week 2.

Thank you to everyone who has helped encourage me through this journey so far.

This is MY year!

Run the Tunnel to Towers event

Someday (if they are still doing it) I WILL run the Tunnel to Towers race. Found out about this year on the anniversary of 9/11. And I knew I had to add it to my list.

Now onto the nitty gritty. The only thing I have done is kept up with my points since the last post on here. Haven't been able to get to the gym or walk my dog. But luckily my sickness us goin away!
Created a calendar that is now posted on my fridge of the meals for the month. I'm excited! Also am going to a Fresh and Easy store this weekend to grocery shop. Ladies at my work office were talkin about it today so I decided to check it out. I am missing my Trader Joes though! Wish they'd put one closer to me. Maybe next time I'll just be sure to bring an ice chest or something.

Even though I've really only been tracking the food I've been eating, I feel a difference. I know that sounds weird, but instead of eating s buttload of junk I'm actually becoming more conscious of what I'm putting in my body. Now ofcourse I know I still have room for improvement, but it's only the first week.

Now onto finishing off the work week and then the good stuff.

For realization

Day 1 of the new year. Pretty good one if I say so myself. Tracked my food/points. Stayed within the points. Honestly it was a struggle. That is a bit sad, but with the realization of how "low" my strength is it comes to food, comes the desire to change.

So.. For the title " for realization" is for many things.
Realization that I have let myself get so weak and allow food to control my life. No longer! Now the only "rulers" of my life are God and myself.
So instead of turning to food when I'm bored, I get up and do something.
Instead of turning to food when I get upset, open the Bible or turn to here. Lol.
Food no longer is my drug of choice.

Life is!!