This post is one that hits a nerve with me. Yesterday I read that Paster Rick Warren's son committed suicide after his lifetime suffering from depression. In a news release, Pastor Warren mentioned something his son said 10 years ago (something that I remember praying to God about) but his son (mind you this is paraphrased a little) had said that sometimes he wonders why God cant bring him to heaven now and end this pain and suffering.
Reading that brought tears to my eyes and my heart weeps for the Warren family and EVERY family and individual that is suffering from depression and any other mental illness!!!!!!
I know from my own personal story of dealing with depression since junior high, and only since 2007 sought help for it, that it is hard living life. For me it was especially hard being a Christian as well. That brought in a whole other realm of questions and thoughts and fears.
But anywhoo... saving my sob story for a later date.
I hope that someday I can help a person or persons out of that darkness... or at least enough to get them away from the thoughts of ending their own life.
I will admit that to this day I still wonder sometimes why God hasnt or didnt take me years ago, and it can be hard to see the light in the darkness. But His strength and loving arms are what have picked me up out of bed and kept me going. I know that there is a reason Im still here, and though today (or tomorrow or whenever) may be a rough one and doesnt seem worth it, there is a reason Im going through the pain.
If someone out there reads this and is suffering, please know that you are worthy to live!! and seek help. It is okay to reach out.
If someone out there reads this and knows someone suffering, be sure to let them know you care for them.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
Shrinking Jeans Progress
SCORE!!!!
So I was getting dressed to go run errands this morning and I decided to try on a pair of pants that I haven't been able to wear since 2007. And guess what??!!! THEY FIT! Woot Woot!! I am even able to bend, sit, and not have to cover my shirt because of the muffin top. They fit nicely. They are a little snug, but hey... Ill take it as they are! Now I have another pair of jeans and not have to buy any.. lol..
But yeah.. this makes me happy. Perfect little kick to keep me going on this journey and get out of this rut.
Phew... down to the ground now. I need extra help this week to get my butt into gear again and get back to the gym or if weather permits run the C25K with my doggy around the local park. He's getting stir crazy too from this whack out weather. That would also help me out, getting a change of scenery and what-not.
So how is everyone doing?
If I can be help in any way let me know... I struggle on my own journey, but enjoy helping others and encouraging them.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Sunday Funday
Yup.. two weeks down.. woot woot.
This week has been hard due to weather and just personal low motivation. However I have stuck to the plans. On the rainy days I have done cardio and body weight exercise in my home along with yoga.
Man.. That Fab Abs is kicking my abs... lol. Those planks are hitting me hard. But it feels great!!
Had a great message at church today. Only excites me for what more is to come for 2013. Also, I am attending some Life Groups and todays group has me excited and scared all in one. lol. A good scared though.
I have been fighting the urge to step on the scale all week. I am attempting to just weigh on check in days.. I call it "Weigh-In Wednesday."
So yeah.. resting to prep for another week of body work.
Hope everyone is doing okay..
This week has been hard due to weather and just personal low motivation. However I have stuck to the plans. On the rainy days I have done cardio and body weight exercise in my home along with yoga.
Man.. That Fab Abs is kicking my abs... lol. Those planks are hitting me hard. But it feels great!!
Had a great message at church today. Only excites me for what more is to come for 2013. Also, I am attending some Life Groups and todays group has me excited and scared all in one. lol. A good scared though.
I have been fighting the urge to step on the scale all week. I am attempting to just weigh on check in days.. I call it "Weigh-In Wednesday."
So yeah.. resting to prep for another week of body work.
Hope everyone is doing okay..
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Challenge Week 1 Weigh-in & Confessional
So.. even though I jumped the gun a couple posts ago, today is the "official" weigh-in for the challenge. And the weight is still the same (sadface) at 248.
It's been three days since that weigh-in. With no pounds gone. I know why, which is partially why its so hard to stomach. But I admit that I did not sweat as much as I should have and did not stick to my workout routine over the weekend. I did do everything last night (yoga and fab abs).
Today is supposed to be a gym day, but the weather is whack! The sky must be really sad because it is raining cats and dogs and a few moans here and there. I do not like driving when its raining this hard. Especially in a rental car that has issues and the roads flood. So... since Ill be "stuck" inside I'ma do an at home workout. Doing a cardio workout plus leg workout, and a little yoga.
I do love the yoga. I created a dream board for this year (Will post a pic once I finish outlining). And the dream is to go to Wanderlust Festival next year. But in the today, I like yoga because it gives me something to envision. There are certain poses that I either cannot do fully because of the extra body I have. So I envision someday being able to do the pose fully and not be constrained.
Yup.
On the life part, I finally have a job! I just need to get CPR certified before I can begin. But yep... Im excited. Now I can go to gym before or after work or both.
K. Hope everyone is doing well in their journey and sticking through on their goals. It's week 2 of the new year stick with it!
It's been three days since that weigh-in. With no pounds gone. I know why, which is partially why its so hard to stomach. But I admit that I did not sweat as much as I should have and did not stick to my workout routine over the weekend. I did do everything last night (yoga and fab abs).
Today is supposed to be a gym day, but the weather is whack! The sky must be really sad because it is raining cats and dogs and a few moans here and there. I do not like driving when its raining this hard. Especially in a rental car that has issues and the roads flood. So... since Ill be "stuck" inside I'ma do an at home workout. Doing a cardio workout plus leg workout, and a little yoga.
I do love the yoga. I created a dream board for this year (Will post a pic once I finish outlining). And the dream is to go to Wanderlust Festival next year. But in the today, I like yoga because it gives me something to envision. There are certain poses that I either cannot do fully because of the extra body I have. So I envision someday being able to do the pose fully and not be constrained.
Yup.
On the life part, I finally have a job! I just need to get CPR certified before I can begin. But yep... Im excited. Now I can go to gym before or after work or both.
K. Hope everyone is doing well in their journey and sticking through on their goals. It's week 2 of the new year stick with it!
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Let the people Rest
Thank goodness today is a rest day!!
I think I have an infection that switches between sinus and ear. Once I get rid of one, the other comes. And this morning I was wonked!! lol. Im still going to try to do some yoga, and I definitely am staying on the right track food wise.. but its one of those days where I just want stay in bed...
But yeah.. Im hoping this rest day will recoup my system in preparation for the new week. I dont want to back track which happens a lot when I lose weight. Staying motivated!
OHHH!!!! I have decided (and recruited a friend of mine) to do a 5k at the end of March. It's one of the Color Runs... which has me oober excited. Anyone in the Houston, TX area available March 24th... and wants to do with.. contact me! We can try to create a team and the price is a teeny bit less. lol.. But yeah... Im excited because the pictures show peoples of all sizes doing it.. so yeah.. Ill be adding a 5k program to my weekly workout. Ill be working on a walking time and half/half time.
Woot Woot!!! Im excited.
K.. now off to thinking of my outfit for the Run...
I think I have an infection that switches between sinus and ear. Once I get rid of one, the other comes. And this morning I was wonked!! lol. Im still going to try to do some yoga, and I definitely am staying on the right track food wise.. but its one of those days where I just want stay in bed...
But yeah.. Im hoping this rest day will recoup my system in preparation for the new week. I dont want to back track which happens a lot when I lose weight. Staying motivated!
OHHH!!!! I have decided (and recruited a friend of mine) to do a 5k at the end of March. It's one of the Color Runs... which has me oober excited. Anyone in the Houston, TX area available March 24th... and wants to do with.. contact me! We can try to create a team and the price is a teeny bit less. lol.. But yeah... Im excited because the pictures show peoples of all sizes doing it.. so yeah.. Ill be adding a 5k program to my weekly workout. Ill be working on a walking time and half/half time.
Woot Woot!!! Im excited.
K.. now off to thinking of my outfit for the Run...
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Weekend 1 Weigh In
Well... It's that time. The time of the dreaded step on the scale and twinge in the gut when the numbers pop up...
Despite the rearrange of workouts and a couple mishaps in diet (I had a weakness for brownies earlier in the week)...
I still am 2 pounds down! Woot Woot. That leaves 13 pounds for my challenge goal (8 pounds for month goal). SCORE!! I never thought I would see the 240's again. Or at least in my 20's. Only more fire lit under my feet to keep me going so I can late say the lower weights. I feel a bit proud of this loss (despite how small it is) because a relative of mine made the comment that while living here in the south it's a hard to lose weight and probably wont happen. So the fact that I made it happen I feel a bit more accomplishment.
Allergies are still kicking my butt... but am making sure to still get up move at least. Normally I would want to stay in bed and watch movies and such...but since it's just sinus junk, I am making myself move.
I am excited also because today I FINALLY got myself a yoga mat, pilates ball, and yoga routine dvd. I have wanted these items for a year now... I figure I can be okay with it as putting it towards rewarding myself for going from 272 to 248 (24 pounds gone).
I must admit also, that last night I almost did not do the Fab Abs workout. (Find it here: http://shrinkingjeans.net/2012/12/fab-abs-january-monthly-workout-calendar/ ) But, I did it! I fought the inner voice in me trying to talk me out of it.. and did it. I told myself that my day off is Sunday. And man... the planks are kicking my behind! lol. But I can see me at the end of the month blowing the 25 seconds out the water! I partially dreading, but am excited for the 2min 30sec! lol.
Yup.
I like the FitnessPals "If you do like this everyday for (so many) weeks then you will weigh (such amount)" ... lol.. It makes me excited to think I CAN weigh that much within the year.
Hope everyone stays focused over the weekend! Dont give up!!
Despite the rearrange of workouts and a couple mishaps in diet (I had a weakness for brownies earlier in the week)...
I still am 2 pounds down! Woot Woot. That leaves 13 pounds for my challenge goal (8 pounds for month goal). SCORE!! I never thought I would see the 240's again. Or at least in my 20's. Only more fire lit under my feet to keep me going so I can late say the lower weights. I feel a bit proud of this loss (despite how small it is) because a relative of mine made the comment that while living here in the south it's a hard to lose weight and probably wont happen. So the fact that I made it happen I feel a bit more accomplishment.
Allergies are still kicking my butt... but am making sure to still get up move at least. Normally I would want to stay in bed and watch movies and such...but since it's just sinus junk, I am making myself move.
I am excited also because today I FINALLY got myself a yoga mat, pilates ball, and yoga routine dvd. I have wanted these items for a year now... I figure I can be okay with it as putting it towards rewarding myself for going from 272 to 248 (24 pounds gone).
I must admit also, that last night I almost did not do the Fab Abs workout. (Find it here: http://shrinkingjeans.net/2012/12/fab-abs-january-monthly-workout-calendar/ ) But, I did it! I fought the inner voice in me trying to talk me out of it.. and did it. I told myself that my day off is Sunday. And man... the planks are kicking my behind! lol. But I can see me at the end of the month blowing the 25 seconds out the water! I partially dreading, but am excited for the 2min 30sec! lol.
Yup.
I like the FitnessPals "If you do like this everyday for (so many) weeks then you will weigh (such amount)" ... lol.. It makes me excited to think I CAN weigh that much within the year.
Hope everyone stays focused over the weekend! Dont give up!!
Friday, January 4, 2013
Goal Time, Set, Go
It's that time now. My goals.
The first goal(s) will be for the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans Challenge.
Challenge Goals:
**WEIGHT LOSS Goal: Lose 15 Pounds
*Wear my BodyBugg daily
*Log in at least 30 hours at the gym a month
*Complete the Fab-Abs January program
*Stretch hip flexors at least 3x week
Health:
*Drink two less caffeinated drink a week & change one drink to a caffeine free drink
*Eat at least one fruit a day (Oranges during winter!! lol)
* Log food/exercise in my FitnessPal app (add me as a friend .. search ehvball00)
*Pray daily!
There is my finalized set of goals!
I want to give a thank you to the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans! It has helped push me the past 4 days to stay on track and be dutiful.
Onto blogness goodness.. .
Phew... today I am pooped! Yesterday I fell off track and did not do my planned workout. I did very little cardio and the Fab Ab program. I am throwing out the excuse that my allergies are kicking my butt. (Hence the goal to eat an orange a day during the winter). lol.
I am hugely thankful to have FINALLY got called for a job interview today. So I planned out my day as such:
Interview at 1pm then on my way home stop by the gym to make up for missing yesterdays workout.
Woot woot I did! Almost forgot because my voice started crackling and nose clogging/running (STUPID sinus'!!) . But as I was entering in an address into my GPS I remembered. So I entered in my gyms address and boom, I was at the gym. Caught up on working out my legs and arms along with cardio. I did not do as much cardio as I wanted, but made sure to warm up and cool down with the teadmill. It was funny... during my cool down on the treadmill I saw a skinny girl wearing the same yellow color shirt and black bottoms (I wore pants she wore shorts) and had hair up the same way as I did (a high pony tail). So I thought... there's my after picture. lol. Motivated me to finish up the last 10 mins on treadmill when I wanted to quit. It was only an added bonus that an oober cute guy decided to go on the machine next to me... lol. We were going at the same pace the whole time.. and get this.. he stopped before I did.. hehehe...
Felt good to finish... Im trying to be okay with the fact I didnt do as much cardio as I wanted.. At least I went right... lol... oie..
So yes...
Thank you everyone
And a HUGE special thank you to Sisterhood for the Shrinking Jeans and my team!
2013 is ours!!!
The first goal(s) will be for the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans Challenge.
Challenge Goals:
**WEIGHT LOSS Goal: Lose 15 Pounds
*Wear my BodyBugg daily
*Log in at least 30 hours at the gym a month
*Complete the Fab-Abs January program
*Stretch hip flexors at least 3x week
Health:
*Drink two less caffeinated drink a week & change one drink to a caffeine free drink
*Eat at least one fruit a day (Oranges during winter!! lol)
* Log food/exercise in my FitnessPal app (add me as a friend .. search ehvball00)
*Pray daily!
There is my finalized set of goals!
I want to give a thank you to the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans! It has helped push me the past 4 days to stay on track and be dutiful.
Onto blogness goodness.. .
Phew... today I am pooped! Yesterday I fell off track and did not do my planned workout. I did very little cardio and the Fab Ab program. I am throwing out the excuse that my allergies are kicking my butt. (Hence the goal to eat an orange a day during the winter). lol.
I am hugely thankful to have FINALLY got called for a job interview today. So I planned out my day as such:
Interview at 1pm then on my way home stop by the gym to make up for missing yesterdays workout.
Woot woot I did! Almost forgot because my voice started crackling and nose clogging/running (STUPID sinus'!!) . But as I was entering in an address into my GPS I remembered. So I entered in my gyms address and boom, I was at the gym. Caught up on working out my legs and arms along with cardio. I did not do as much cardio as I wanted, but made sure to warm up and cool down with the teadmill. It was funny... during my cool down on the treadmill I saw a skinny girl wearing the same yellow color shirt and black bottoms (I wore pants she wore shorts) and had hair up the same way as I did (a high pony tail). So I thought... there's my after picture. lol. Motivated me to finish up the last 10 mins on treadmill when I wanted to quit. It was only an added bonus that an oober cute guy decided to go on the machine next to me... lol. We were going at the same pace the whole time.. and get this.. he stopped before I did.. hehehe...
Felt good to finish... Im trying to be okay with the fact I didnt do as much cardio as I wanted.. At least I went right... lol... oie..
So yes...
Thank you everyone
And a HUGE special thank you to Sisterhood for the Shrinking Jeans and my team!
2013 is ours!!!
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